what is the word

I am falling asleep at my desk. In my quest to end the insomnia that's plagued me for the past couple of weeks, I allowed myself to be slipped an Ambien last nite. It wasn't really slipped to me so much as placed directly on my tongue by the divinely wealthy, tho nevertheless old & creepy Mr. M.
DB introduced me to Mr. M last nite. We were going to have a drink at the Rainbow Room; instead we ended up in M's high-rise apartment on 5th Avenue, a lavish, enormous, strangely un-beautiful dark place full of mirrors, chinese art & heavy furniture. I remember the first hour of the evening: scotch in hand, glass bowl of raisins & nuts at arm's reach. Lighting my cigarettes from a 21 Club matchbook & listening to DB talk about Burning Man, as M kept questioning him, But what did you really see there? You're not saying anything. I kept thinking that an ugly, frightened-looking tribal figure on the coffee table was trying to tell me something. Things got blurrier & the conversation turned weirder, & I can't for the life of me remember in what manner goodbyes were said. I'm waiting for a reassuring email from DB; so far, I'm still in suspense.
Ambien is kind of weird shit. I slept great for the first time in weeks, but I trust that stuff about as far as I can throw it. Considering the size of the pills tho -- I could throw them pretty far I guess. OK, so I'm still out of it. I half-wonder if I am actually asleep now.