what is the word

I bought this fucked up tea. It's supposed to make you relaxed and sleepy at bedtime. I rarely have trouble sleeping but I love tea, and I liked the idea of having a cup of it in bed, and dropping off nicely after reading a chapter or two of my book.

Last nite was the third & final time this horrible tea shall pass my lips. On all three occasions, not only did I not drop off nicely but I suffered from the worst insomnia ever. Not forty-five minutes of tossing & turning. More like laying there livid until 7 a.m.

Last nite I scratched all this out in my spiral notebook as I was trying to sleep. I started writing at 4:30 a.m. My notebook is normally filled with more salacious items, existential angst, lurid remininscences, bits of short stories & stray lines of embarassing poetry. Never had a rage-induced insomnia-fueled rant against a particular brand of outrageously misleading tea graced its pages & this pissed me off even more.

I closed the notebook & tried again. Twenty minutes later, returning furiously to the page:

On the bright side, I suppose I can save the tea for special occasions, like if I decide to go to a goddamn rave or something & remember I don't do crystal meth anymore. That's how they should market the tea. Yogi Bedtime Tea -- when you're a little too old for crystal meth. Or Yogi's Organic Crack Tea, Which Also Happens to Taste Like Shit.

& scrawled pathetically below:

PS I'm still awake. Kill me.