Monday I attempted to be civilized. I rose early, breakfasted on fruit, granola & tea, and worked on my writing for two hours. Then I went home & spent the better part of the afternoon on the couch, watching the soaps & eating crackers. At two a.m. I drank scotch from a plastic cup & fell asleep with the light on.
Yesterday I was civilized. I had no more than two glasses of wine at a bar off Union Square. Ceremoniously and one by one, I erased what's-his-fuck's numbers from my phone: his mobile, his landline, his mother's house. I traversed the Hudson River by PATH Train into Jersey City, where I saw Bright Eyes play at a vast old theatre. In the hushed darkness I looked at the couples huddled around me, and I thought of all the mistakes I've made & how fiercely I don't regret any of them. It took me a long time to fall asleep at bedtime; I think civilization gives me insomnia.
