what is the word

Watching the Oscars this year was like actual torture. I think I'd forgotten how many pointless awards there are, and it was made all the more unbearable by the fact that Lord of the Rings won all of them. When I wasn't yawning thru Billy Crystal's lame-o jokes, I was seething in double-fisted rage over the pitiful dearth of nominations for American Splendor & City of God. The dresses were boring (except for Uma Thurman's strange kimono-obi combo) & the awards were boring-er.
There were a couple of saving graces:

Hottest dude: Owen Wilson, by a long shot. If Johnny Depp would dress like a normal person, this might have been harder to call.
Hottest chick: Angelina Jolie, far and away. My only quibble with her dress is that she was wearing one at all. Take your top off Angelina, at the very least!
Cutest couple: Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins. She gets hotter every year, & even tho I didn't see Mystic River, I'm quite sure he deserved that award.
Funniest presenters: Jack Black & Will Ferrell. I wish I could carry Jack Black around in my pocket for all occasions.
Best dress: Sophia Coppola's black silk gown. What a shame even Marc Jacobs can't redeem her horsey face & social awkardness.
Best source of catty comments: A tie between Charlize Theron, who spent too long in the tanning bed & showed up glaringly over-bronzed, and Sandra Bullock in the ugliest dress of the evening, a long white Oscar de la Renta with a horrible tiered shape & ghastly furry accents.

All in all tho, the whole thing was a waste of four hours (or longer) & unless they bring back Steve Martin, I'm boycotting the Oscars from now on.