I didn't end up watching Angel last nite. I got drunk at the Salt Bar with Matt & Tracy instead. Not in Angel's honor or anything, but I ended up having a very manly, bloody sort of dinner -- quasi-vampiric, one might say -- of very spicy Bloody Marys & a starter plate of chorizo. You'd think I'd be feeling pretty evil after that but they started playing The Rainbow Connection (yes, that Rainbow Connection) at the Salt Bar. Tracy & I were well into drink number four & we got a bit misted up, & somehow the conversation turned to favorite old stuffed animals & Muppets bedsheets, & it wasn't evil in the least. Poo.
Nothing is very evil right now. The city is gorgeous; for lunch I walked down 9th Avenue, because I like that Avenue, & it was sunny & there was a beautiful breeze (which, granted, was blowing trash against my ankles) & I was walking along not thinking about anything really, but I was hoping my dinner date doesn't cancel tonite because I want to see him & I wore a dress today, but if he does that's ok too, I guess. Today I just happened to wake up feeling nice, for no reason, the same arbitrary way I woke up on Tuesday already feeling frustrated & worn down. Everybody is in love lately & even more people are getting married, proposing to their girlfriends in thunderstorms & having weddings on the beach. These are good things, but then it always makes me wonder if something awful is going to happen, when things are nice. Not to other people, but to me. When nice things happen to me sometimes it is shocking, because before I remind myself I'm not I always think of myself as like, that girl from Welcome to the Dollhouse or something, & it is weird when things go my way. It's totally ridiculous that I am actually trying to ruin a good day with pseudo crappy philsophy that doesn't mean anything, so I shall stop doing it right now. But I really, really want to post a picture of Dawn Weiner cos it's way too perfect.
