what is the word

I took the subway today at lunch, to get away from midtown. Very often I have the urge, at midday, to get myself away from midtown. It was about 90 outside, as hot as I can remember it so far this year, & I rode down on the W & suddenly I saw that everybody around me was sleeping. I had had my eyes closed too, for a moment. I was resting my left hand against my neck, wanting to feel the way it feels when his hand is on my neck, very firm & sure, on my neck & against my jaw & brushing my ear. My eyes were closed but then I opened them, & I saw that across from me the woman in an embroidered Moroccan tunic also had her eyes closed, & the young black guy with headphones had his eyes closed, & across to the left there was a very large woman hunched against the window & her eyes were closed too. It was like a fairy tale, where the townspeople had all fallen asleep & time had been frozen & I was the only waking life on the train & sitting there with my eyes open I could almost will his hand to be there.
I think it lasted about three seconds ... but it was quite long enough for a fairy tale in this city.