what is the word

I had a great time at the Xs for Eyes show last nite at Trash. I was in a good mood & I didn't know why. I got stoned before the show & when I was walking over there I had a lot of not-so-good thoughts running around in my head. I kept thinking about how I got dumped. I kept thinking, I got dumped, & it's all my fault. I was practically begging to get dumped. I'd been acting all dump-worthy. Nobody should have felt sorry for me, because I fucked everything up all on my own, but I felt sorry for me; in a way that was the part I felt sorriest about.
But when I got to Trash this band the Crapenters were playing & they sounded pretty good. They were playing a funny song about wearing the wrong pants to outerspace, or something like that. The lead singer was wearing a ratty green Cubs shirt & they were all pretty sweaty & unassuming. "They've got a certain je ne sais quoi," I said to a friend, who had to admit it was true.
On top of that Xs for Eyes sounded fantastic & Fletcher had these exciting things that exploded when you threw them. I don't know how else to describe them but they made a little spark when they hit something (usually Paul's guitar) & gave off a loud pop.
So that was sort of that for my depression, at least for the evening. I decided getting dumped is a pretty grand thing anyway. Whenever someone feels like giving me their sob story, I'll just say Listen, I got dumped, & hopefully that will shut them up.