Yours truly spent the weekend over there in Minneapolis dontcha know. My sister & I never tired of saying everything in a Minneapolis accent while there, & punctuating every sentence with a "dontcha know" or a "you betcha!"
Minneapolis has a lot of things New York doesn't. Thousands upon thousands of lakes. Billions upon billions of mosquitos. Bars that serve Shiner. 2 drive-in theaters! I spent a contented evening at one of them, sitting in a folding camping chair under a wool blanket, gorging myself on Cheetos & sipping a Shiner, being disappointed by Anchorman with my friend Michelle. We had a big Citronella candle to keep away the mosquitos & the bright thick flame was like our campfire.
The best thing Minneapolis has that New York doesn't is the fabulous Nye's Polonaise Room.
Michelle & I caught up over beers in the huge black vinyl booths at Nye's. Walking to the bathroom was scary because people were really polka dancing there, leading each other about with great zest & plowing over anyone in their way.
I stopped in Chicago on the way home. My plane wasn't full & I slid over to the window seat, so I could watch Chicago fan out gently below me, a great, soft, twinkling orange grid moving slowly in the distance, as the purple clouds, closer now, raced above. Land & lake tumbling fast away, a bright white sheen glazing the tops of the clouds & everything else darkening, darkening. Goodbye Chicago, site of giddy rainstorms & inflatable mattresses; hello New York, you terrifying old friend, you gleam beyond the clouds. I swear I'll fix everything when I get back to you.
A pretty flight attendant shooed my money away when I tried to pay for my vodka tonic. I drank it & read Cruddy. I underlined this sentence: It turns out that once your mind gets expanded it is very hard to shrink it back down again.
