In my neighborhood it's all golf umbers, all the time. My solution is to bump on purpose, hear them say "hey!", and then I say "dick!"
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1. If you must carry an umbrella, make sure you use one of those crappy ones from the street that everybody else has. Otherwise people will think you are an umbrella snob.
2. If you don't have an umbrella, make sure you wait until it's fucking pouring to buy one, so you can experience the joy of paying at least $10 for that crappy one off the street.
3. People without umbrellas get the right of way. Not because they're getting soaked, but because they're taking one for the team by not overcrowding the sidewalk just so they can stay dry.
4. If you're short, you are not allowed to carry an umbrella. You just aren't.
5. Every time I wear my $300 suede boots, it rains.
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now give it to me
cos i just want 2 love u
