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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Top 5 Least-Wanted Diseases:

1. Fatal familial insomnia. Easily the worst of the bunch. Like mad cow, it's caused by mutated prion proteins. This one family in Italy has had it for generations. What happens is one nite the victim has trouble sleeping & suddenly thinks, Oh my god, what if I have that fucking thing where I never fall asleep again? & then they never do. Ever. Again. & it sometimes takes them years to die.

2. Spinal meningitis. I have often been assured that it never gets as bad as it's portrayed in Pet Sematary, but I'm still staying away from this one.

3. Ebola.

4. King Herod's disease, which I first read about it in Claudius the God (erroneously attributed to I, Claudius here), but which has apparently since been straightened out.

5. That thing, you know that thing, where you compulsively pull all your hairs out one by one. That thing teenage girls get that causes them to lie awake at nite pulling at their hairs for comfort & in the morning they wake up with a giant bald patch & they are too mortified to go to school so they go on a talk show about it. I know this isn't the worst disease ever but I can totally see how people get it. Trichotillomania, that's it.

Comments:
Jeez Kat, I'm thinking maybe you should stay away from all 5 of these! I knew a girl who had that hair-pulling thing in high school. As part of her recovery, her doctor made her carry around any hair she may have pulled out during the day in a little ziploc bag. You'd see her in the halls at school carrying around a bag of her own eyelashes or her long red hair. Eerie!
 
no way! i never met anyone who had it. but i KNEW it was high school girls. they were always talking about that disease in, like, sassy magazine in the "it happened to me" section.
her EYELASHES, too?
 
Yeah. I knew a girl with red hair that used to do the same thing. Amy Basel. She did it during science class.
Appropriately so.
 
Wierd, maybe it's just redheads that get it, cuz I'm a brunette and I never had the urge to yank out any of my own hair. But yeah, she pulled out her eyelashes and also some of her eyebrows too.
That's funny, I read all those Sassy articles back in the day! I used to love that magazine. I think now the same people who did that one now do Jane magazine. But without the two-page spreads of Christian Slater, it's just not the same, you know?
 
Leperosy, definitely leperosy. In Jr. High, my friends and I all read "The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever" and all got phantom leperosy. Every time we saw a bruise on each other we panicked.

(and I wonder why I didn't have many friends growing up..)
 
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