what is the word

I went to the bar with R. because I thought it would cheer me up.
I've never seen you so sad, he said.
I was leaning against the long varnished bar with my chin on my fist, looking very dejected.
I've never seen you in such bright lipstick either, he said. Is that blog lipstick?
Blog lipstick? I said, half-heartedly.
I think you mentioned bright lipstick on your blog, he said.
I mention everything on my blog, I said.
We sat there for awhile. I thought seeing him would make me feel better but it only made me feel worse. He told me he was going away for the weekend with S. & her family, & then I knew it had been a bad idea going to the bar.
I've never seen you so sad, he said. He left before I did so I finished my beer alone.