what is the word

My favorite thing to listen to when I'm walking on nearly desolate Wythe Avenue at nearly the midnite hour is That Right Ain't Shit by The Books. Many kisses to Lauren for sending me that CD along with about 4 others as a surprise present once in the mail.
Tonite I met Polly at the dark little bar near her apartment, a bar whose name I can't remember. It was a jumble of tables inside but they let us take our glasses of wine outside as long as we kept them on the ground beside us in case there were cops. I spied a guy smoking who looked like Jon, the love of my life from high school. I loved Jon like I was sick with it. I would have eaten a bowl of live cockroaches with him if he asked me to. He didn't want to eat cockroaches but he fed me pot & Ephedrine & so I did that. The last time I saw him was probably 4 years ago. He had gotten a bit fat & was working at some stale bank in Boston, still doing loads of drugs & drinking cans of Red Bull at his desk to get him thru the day, which made me sad. & then one day he just stopped writing.
Anyway this guy looked like him a bit, only he was a hipper, thinner version so it wasn't quite the same.
Tonite is one of those times where everything feels like a revelation. Everything converges into a grand pattern with an answer at the end. I was in the middle of writing an email I thought had answers in it & suddenly my computer crashed. I could tell I was going to have to restart the entire thing but while all the programs were frozen & the rainbow wheel was spinning the about-to-be-lost missive was still on the screen. So I grabbed a piece of paper, transcribed the entire email there, restarted my computer, & retyped the whole thing like that.
Later it didn't seem nearly as significant but at the time it felt almost urgent.