I am supposed to be blogging about the election, but I just can't stomach it. My sense of impending doom is too overpowering. Besides, we all know what I think about the election. The same thing every other educated "liberal elite" New Yorker thinks. It's tiresome to keep hearing everyone make the same goddamn "arguments" over & over when they really all agree with each other.
I'm tired anyway. Too tired to form sentences. Rather, tired
of forming sentences.
So instead (to complement my incomplete thoughts & incomplete sentences) I shall present incomplete emails to ex-boyfriends, direct to you from my draft folder. I made the decision never to send these, or, more accurately, I never quite decided that I would send them. I think you'll see why.
To the One I Was Trying to Avoid:
hi, im really not avoiding you. im just feeling very on-my-own at the moment. can you understand that? also, what is up with you being on the atkins diet? you even take the limes out of your stoli sodas! thats just weird.
To the One I Loved:
sorry i keep making things so weird. i think im the textbook example of how to do absolutely everything wrong. just ignore me. (& by "ignore me" of course i mean, please say something.)
To the Manic-Depressive Game-Player:
i wish you knew how much i have to say to you. i say i wish cos i dont know if i will ever send this. i keep hoping i will see you at sweetwater & i dont. i thought i had an intuitiveness about you but it turns out i was wrong. you write these emails that i know you want me to respond to & i know you are testing me. sometimes i wish i could be with you, laying underneath our blankets in the dark. & then sometimes i feel like this EMAIL IS FUCKING LAME.
To the One Who Went on Tour for a Month & Didn't Call to Say Goodbye:
hi babe, i have great news. i'm in love. no, not with you, silly! with someone else!
To Ruffneck Stylez:
hi, im really sorry i shouted "gross!" when i saw you at diner. i was really, really drunk, obviously. to be honest i dont remember anything, but i heard that i was extremely wasted & not very nice. anyway, so things didnt work out between us, but i just wanted you to know that if we run into each other again, you wont be in for a repeat of last nite's performance or anything. i am usually quite friendly, i promise. sorry again. by the way, at some point maybe could i get my buffy DVDs back? let me know ASAP. thanks.
